On Unemployment.

So, September begins and things are exactly the same as they were in August (and July, and June, and May, and April, and March, and February and January). Still with very little by way of money. Still next to nothing by way of a social life. Still no job. That seems to be the most important, and seemingly the defining aspect of my life as it is. I am unemployed.

I often see people in the media and even some friends of mine of Facebook take the "why can't people just get a job and stop complaining?" line. It is somewhat disheartening to hear, especially from actual friends. It is easy to say "get a job" when you already have one. For those of us without one, it is not so simple. I have a Bachelor's degree and a Master's degree (both of which I did rather well in). I have spent time, and been published by, a nationally printed magazine. None of those things have helped at all. I want to work. I am not one of these stereotypical unemployed people who have no desire to work and really want to be paid to do nothing. I want someone to value my time and skill enough to pay me for it. I want to contribute. Hell, I want to be able to pay tax! I am not, as the media and government like to call it "workshy".

Joblessness sucks. I cannot understand anyone who would be satisfied in this situation. The money is awful and the sense of uselessness is hard to combat. But combat it, I must. Applying for jobs has become my full-time job. Every day I wake up, switch on the computer, check Facebook and Twitter before beginning the daily trawl for jobs. Any job that is remotely relevant to my skills and qualifications. Some days I won't find any. Some days I will find several. The application process is long, boring and most of the time results in nothing. Not a peep. Sometimes I will get excited at the prospect of an employer sending one of those generated "Dear Applicant" emails, even if it is a rejection.

Then there are the fortnightly trips to Job Centre Plus. I never have quite figured out what the "Plus" meant. The place that apparently used to be simply called the Unemployment Office. I still maintain that it is a more accurate name than Job Centre. They are fortnightly admissions of failure. I hate it. Those places are soul-crushingly depressing. What makes it worse is that it turns me into a terrible human being while I am there. I hate judging people as better or worse, but at the dreaded Job Centre, that is exactly what I do. I catch myself thinking "I am in the same position as these people?" or thinking that I am probably better educated than the staff (there is no way to know this one way or the other without an awkward conversation). I hate that I think like that, but that place drains your goodwill and humanity like nothing else I have ever experienced.

So I shall carry on in this endeavor. Sometimes it feels like a hopeless one, and that I should just crawl into a darkened corner and stay there forever. I must push past these thoughts (although after nine months they are getting harder to brush aside) and just keep applying. There is not really anything more I can do. Wish me luck...